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For many young adults, making the marriage decision is straightforward and simple. Current social trends toward delaying and even avoiding marriage further complicate the matter. Some young adults become overly concerned with finding the right person, waiting for the perfect timing, or feeling fully prepared to commit for eternity.

In fact, a recent study of Latter-day Saints in the United States showed that one-third of young adults ages 21 to 25 have some concerns or reservations about their readiness for marriage. Despite these challenges, Church leaders have affirmed the command to marry and have assured young adults that eternal marriage is not only possible but also desirable.

While serving as a member of the Seventy, Elder Earl C. But please have faith, and that faith with works. The Lord is aware of you as individuals and of your particular circumstances. He will bless you. He will assist you in bringing to pass that which is right and which you righteously desire.

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Please have faith. Here, young adults tell of the fears and setbacks they faced in making the marriage decision—and the faith they found to carry them through. For me, getting a confirmation about my marriage was like filling a glass. I was afraid of the relationship ending with broken hearts or anger. However, I realized I would know what to do only by spending time with her. I figured that in the end it would be a learning experience for both of us—whatever that end would be. She had strong desires to serve a mission, and I strongly wanted to be sure of whom I should date and marry.

Plus, we were both afraid of making a mistake in choosing when and whom to marry. As I sought priesthood blessings and counsel from priesthood leaders and continued to pray, the glass continued to fill. I learned more about Karen and me—what we could work through together, what our personal weaknesses and strengths were and how they affected us, what our fears were and how we would deal with them, and how to communicate with each other. We both saw from experience that we worked well together and complemented each other. As I prayed and as my glass filled, I felt added courage to keep dating her to see what would happen.

Over time, I realized that I truly loved Karen and wanted to spend eternity with her. When she met my family and I saw how she fit in, my glass was full.

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It took me a year to get to that point, but when I did, the doubt dispersed and I could see clearly. I knew I should marry her and I knew that I knew. Because we learned so much in our dating and during our engagement, our adjustment to marriage has been smooth, and we are extremely happy.

For many of my teenage years and into my first years of college, my parents struggled ificantly in their marriage. My parents did stay married and worked through their struggles, and I came home to find them closer to each other than I had ever seen them before. However, my grandparents, who had been married for more than 50 years, got divorced while I was on my mission.

My exposure to these situations left me wondering if it was all worth it and if I could expect to have a happy, successful marriage. Even when I began dating the young man I would eventually marry—someone I had known for years and whose family I adored—I still felt unsettled. Over time I felt good about our growing relationship.

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The man I was dating was kind, thoughtful, and considerate, not just with me, but also with others. He was faithful in his Church callings, and, since we were both returned missionaries, we would often attend the temple together, all of which helped me to feel peace and gain confidence that he was a worthy choice.

I wish I could say that when I knelt down and prayed about it, peace and clarity came right away. It took weeks and even months. It was frustrating for my boyfriend, who did not have the same fears that I did. He already felt peace about our relationship and wanted to move forward. I am grateful that he waited patiently for my witness to come.

It was sweet and personal and very peaceful.

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In fact, I think the closer we got to marriage and realized what a big decision we were making, the more worries popped up! But those feelings of peace fed my faith, and I was able to move forward. Marriage is hard at times, but because of the confirmation I worked and waited for, I never doubt the decision I made to marry my husband. I was almost done with my undergraduate education before I really believed marriage was for me. There were even a few times when I tried to commit to a life of solitude, but lessons from the scriptures and encouragement from my family were enough to nudge me into the dating scene.

In my mind I could clearly see the consequences of choosing to stay single and of choosing to marry. This understanding—a gift from the Holy Ghost—made it easy to choose the better path, to look for dates rather than for escapes, and to be obedient to the testimony I had received. My decision to marry would have meant little if I had not actively worked toward securing the blessing. Knowing that the girl of my dreams would most likely not show up on my doorstep, I committed myself to doing what would result in a proper, happy temple marriage. I prayed, fasted, attended the temple, and exercised faith that I would find the young woman I wanted to marry.

I made practical adjustments as well: I knew the best way to meet people was to socialize, so I made time for both formal dates and social activities. When I started dating Keisy, I had to start planning for two people in my schedule and not just one. I had to find things for us to do so we could get to know each other better. Even after I had gained a testimony of eternal marriage, my desire to be married was still small. But as Keisy and I dated and the strength of our relationship increased, my desire for temple marriage increased too.

It continued to grow after the proposal, the engagement pictures, the family parties, and each subsequent act that prepared us for our new life together. My testimony of marriage has increased Married lds for our temple sealing; I have learned more fully the doctrine of marriage and family by doing His will see John When I met the man who would become my husband, we had both recently returned from missions.

He immediately impressed me; he was active in the Church, treated me like gold, and had a kind spirit. Friendship turned into love, and in what seemed like no time at all, we were talking about getting married. It was a whirlwind of excitement. But then one day he told me about his past. With regret he explained to me that he had never graduated from high school. I tried not to let this new information bother me, but it kept nagging me in the back of my mind. Would he always be a hard worker?

Would he be able to provide for our family? What if he became less active in the Church again? Although I could not see what the future would hold if I were to marry this man, I could trust Heavenly Father to guide me in my decision.

Over the course of several months, I prayed fervently and attended the temple regularly in seeking direction. The turning point came slowly as I realized that my boyfriend had many traits that were vital for me in a husband. He had a strong testimony of the gospel. He held a current temple recommend.

He treated me with tremendous respect. And he loved me very much. There could be no way of knowing how things he had experienced or things I had experienced, for that matter would affect our future together, but I needed to look at where he was now and where he was going, not just at where he had been. Furthermore, I could trust Heavenly Father to help us as we followed Him.

The answer I received may not be the one that everyone receives, but I know that as we go to Him in faith, Heavenly Father will guide each of us. My husband and I have been married four years now.

How to Cope When a Loved One Changes Beliefs

He has a great job, and we have meaningful opportunities to serve in our ward. We have discovered that when you have someone who is on your side and who loves you despite your weaknesses, you want to become better.

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Neither of us is perfect, but in doing what is right and staying close to the Lord, we have found great happiness. During the two years I dated my husband, Jon, I prayed often about marrying him, but I never got an awe-inspiring answer that so many others seemed to talk about. I was also weighing a decision about serving a mission. I proceeded with the process of putting in my papers and met with my bishop. He asked about my relationship with Jon. The bishop suggested that if I was OK with Jon marrying another girl, then I should move forward with serving a mission.

If I was not OK with his being with someone else, then maybe I should reconsider. I spent a lot of time thinking about that counsel. All that was left was for me to make the choice. I still had occasional doubts and fears, but because I had made the choice to marry Jon, I also had made the choice to help things work out. Imagine that—having to work at a relationship!

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Marriage in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints